Sisters Marry Unexpectedly: Grandparents Will Not Approve

From Spring 2007
By Chip Chipheardt

Breaking news from the heartland of America today as two sisters decided to wed one another in an impromptu ceremony. "There wasn't much I could do about it," their mother explained, "It all happened so fast."

First, the retired make-up artist from Kiss arrived at the family home and painted both girls up in anticipation of the wedding ball. Then Franz Bonz, the acclaimed fashion designer from Sheboygan, outfitted both brides in complimentary Princess Wedding Dresses. After fully dressing, the eldest sister took her place on the Daddy Bench.

"The Daddy Bench is a bench full of daddies that mommies can choose from after they graduate from college," Bella explained. On this day, Bella was the only girl on the Daddy Bench and everyone laughed at her make-up and no one choose her for a long time. She was the only person left on the bench when her little sister arrived. Bella asked Iris to marry her and, when Iris accepted, Bella presented a lovely miniature flower bouquet.

As the early afternoon sun shone brightly through the windows, the girls danced their first dance together, then put on their high heels and walked into their future together in the other room. They rather quickly started a family of eclectic children including a teddy bear, doll, and several Elmos. "What's done is done," their mother sighed in resignation. "I just want them to be happy."